24 – Twenty-Four  Fu / Return

Thunder regenerates deep within Earth’s womb:
Sage rulers recognized that the end of Earth’s seasonal cycle was also the starting point of a new year and a time for dormancy.
They closed the passes at the Solstice to enforce a rest from commerce and activity.
The ruler himself did not travel.

You have passed this way before but you are not regressing.
This is progress, for the cycle now repeats itself, and this time you are aware that it truly is a cycle.
The return of old familiars is welcome.
You can be as sure of this cycle as you are that seven days bring the start of a new week.
Use this dormancy phase to plan which direction you will grow.

SITUATION ANALYSIS:

You are about to experience a rebirth — about to be given another chance, a new lease on life.
You have persevered, gone the distance through an entire cycle — through the Spring of hope or new passion, through a Summer of growth and building, only to be sacrificed like the archetypal Harvest King at the Autumn reaping.
You lie dormant like seed beneath Winter snows now, healing and absorbing new energies in preparation for the new young Spring coming shortly to your life.

55 – Fifty-Five  Fêng / Abundance

Thunder and Lightning from the dark heart of the storm:
The Superior Person judges fairly, so that consequences are just.

The leader reaches his peak and doesn’t lament the descent before him.
Be like the noonday sun at its zenith.
This is success.

SITUATION ANALYSIS:

You are in a position of authority in this situation.
Archetypally, you are the New King, returned from your quest to claim your throne.
However, you are enlightened enough to realize that you are merely a part of a cycle, and that you must someday yield your throne to the new kid in town, the younger, faster gunslinger, the young turk, the next returning hero, the next New King.
Fretting about the inevitable descent is senseless.
For now you must play your role to the hilt and use this gift of power to govern your world as best you can.
You are the best person for the job.
That’s why you were chosen.
Give it your personal best.

49 – Forty-Nine  Ko / Revolution

Fire ignites within the Lake, defying conditions that would deny it birth or survival:
The Superior Person reads the Signs of the Times and makes the Season apparent to all.

The support you need will come only after the deed is done.
Renewed forces, however, will provide fresh energy for exceptional progress.
Persevere.
All differences vanish.

SITUATION ANALYSIS:

A revolutionary Change must be made forcibly.
There is no negotiating with the Established Order.
Perfect timing is essential.
Let the abuse of power become apparent and oppressive to those around you before making your move.
Lay the groundwork, sow the seeds for Revolution without tipping your hand prematurely.
You will need a strong foundation, because you will have to bring about this necessary change alone.
You cannot count on popular support, so you must wait until there is massive dissent.
Then the avenue for your assault will be cleared.

62 – Sixty-Two Hsiao Kuo / Lying Low

Thunder high on the Mountain, active passivity:
The Superior Person is unsurpassed in his ability to remain small.
In a time for humility, he is supremely modest.
In a time of mourning, he uplifts with somber reverence.
In a time of want, he is resourcefully frugal.

When a bird flies too high, its song is lost.
Rather than push upward now, it is best to remain below.
This will bring surprising good fortune, if you keep to your course.

SITUATION ANALYSIS:

There is no profit to striving here.
To be content with oneself is the greatest success imaginable.
The enlightened person has nothing to prove to himself or others, and thus may always operate from a position of sincerity, with no pretense or posturing.
His humility is guileless simplicity.
His mourning is selfless compassion.
His frugality is an unshakeable faith that he is but a conduit, letting what is needed flow through him to others, with no loss to himself.

36 – Thirty-Six  Ming I / Eclipsing the Light

Warmth and Light are swallowed by Deep Darkness:
The Superior Person shows his brilliance by keeping it veiled among the masses.

Stay true to your course, despite the visible obstacles ahead.

SITUATION ANALYSIS:

This time calls for a saintly effort to turn the other cheek.
You have been deliberately injured.
Going blow-for-blow will only escalate this war.
Abstain from vengeance.
Show all watching that you are above it.
Sidestep your aggressor’s headlong charge, giving him the opportunity to fall on his face.

		above: K’un / The Receptive, Earth
		below: Li / The Clinging, Fire

 

Here the sun has sunk under the earth and is therefore darkened. The name of the hexagram means literally “wounding of the bright”; hence the individual lines contain frequent references to wounding. The situation is the exact opposite of that in the foregoing hexagram (35). In the latter a wise man at the head of affairs has able helpers, and in company with them makes progress; here a man of dark nature is in a position of authority and brings harm to the wise and able man. THE JUDGEMENT DARKENING OF THE LIGHT. In adversity It furthers one to be persevering. One must not unresistingly let himself be swept along by unfavorable circumstances, nor permit his steadfastness to be shaken. He can avoid this by maintaining his inner light, while remaining outwardly yielding and tractable. With this attitude he can overcome even the greatest adversities. In some situations indeed a man must hide his light, in order to make his will prevail in spite of difficulties in his immediate environment. Perseverance must dwell in inmost consciousness and should not be discernible from without. Only thus is a man able to maintain his will in the face of difficulties. Solar eclips 1999

7 – Seven  Shih / Recruiting Allies

Deep Water beneath the Earth’s surface:
Untapped resources are available.
The Superior Person nourishes and instructs the people, building a loyal, disciplined following.
Good fortune.
No mistakes if you follow a course led by experience.

SITUATION ANALYSIS:

You must gain support from others.
Find a way to make others want to see your objectives met as badly as you want it.
How can they profit from the attainment of this goal?
Can you command confidence that you are just the person that can bring this plan to fruition?

29 – Twenty-Nine  K’an / Dangerously Deep

Water follows Water, spilling over any cliff, flowing past all obstacles, no matter the depth or distance, to the Sea.
The Superior Person learns flexibility from the mistakes he has made, and grows strong from the obstacles he has overcome, pressing on to show others the Way.

SITUATION ANALYSIS:

You are facing a crucial trial along your Journey.
The danger of this challenge is very real.
It is a test of your mettle.
If you can maintain your integrity and stay true to your convictions, you will overcome.
That’s not as easy as it seems when you are faced with the sacrifice of other things you’ve come to depend upon or hold dear.

39 – Thirty-Nine  Chien / Obstacle

Ominous roiling in the Crater Lake atop the Volcano:
When meeting an impasse, the Superior Person turns his gaze within, and views the obstacle from a new perspective.

Offer your opponent nothing to resist.
Let a sage guide you in this.
Good fortune lies along this course.

SITUATION ANALYSIS:

The Obstacle lies in obstinance.
An insistence on only one way of proceeding has brought things to an impasse.
You may either continue banging your head with irresistible force against this immovable object, or you might step back and survey this situation from a fresh perspective.
Which is immobile here — the obstruction or your attitude?

52 – Fifty-Two  Kên / The Mountain

Above this Mountain’s summit another more majestic rises:
The Superior Person is mindful to keep his thoughts in the here and now.

Stilling the sensations of the Ego, he roams his courtyard without moving a muscle, unencumbered by the fears and desires of his fellows.
This is no mistake.

SITUATION ANALYSIS:

There is a higher vantage point available to you, but it is obscured by the visible peak of personal ambition.
To climb to this higher plane, you must shake off the desires and fears of the conscious, visible world around you.
To make this journey you must quiet the Ego, empty your mind of past and future, and dwell totally in the moment at hand.
Thorough mindfulness of what is before you is the only tranquility.
Be. Here. Now.

32 – Thirty-Two  Hêng / Durability

Arousing Thunder and penetrating Wind.
Close companions in any storm:
The Superior Person possesses a resiliency and durability that lets him remain firmly and faithfully on course.

Such constancy deserves success.

SITUATION ANALYSIS:

Endurance is the key to success in this situation.
However, durability is not synonymous with stone-like rigidity.
True resilience requires a flexibility that allows adaptation to any adverse condition, while still remaining true to the core.
Can you maintain your integrity under any circumstance?
Can you influence the situation without giving opposing forces anything to resist?
Then you will endure to reach your goal.

4 – Four  Mêng / Inexperience

A fresh Spring at the foot of the Mountain:
The Superior Person refines his character by being thorough in every activity.
The Sage does not recruit students; the students seek him.
He asks nothing but a sincere desire to learn.
If the student doubts or challenges his authority, the Sage regretfully cuts his losses.

SITUATION ANALYSIS:

This is a time of interchange between a mentor and pupil.
Whether you are the teacher or the student, it is a time of companionship along a mutual path.
This hexagram also emphasizes the eternal, cyclical nature of the mentor/student relationship — a mentor is merely a more seasoned pupil, further along on the journey.
A pupil holds within himself the seed of a future Master.

56 – Fifty-Six  Lu / The Wanderer

Fire on the Mountain, catastrophic to man, a passing annoyance to the Mountain:
The Superior Person waits for wisdom and clarity before exacting Justice, then lets no protest sway him.

Find satisfaction in small gains.
To move constantly forward is good fortune to a Wanderer.

SITUATION ANALYSIS:

You are a stranger to this situation.
It is your attraction to the exotic that has led you here, but you will move on to a new vista when this one has lost its mystique.
Because much of this environment is foreign to you, you must exercise only the best judgement.
You don’t know the custom here, and it’s too easy to cross a line you don’t know is there.
Because you are the foreigner in this setting, you have no history to acquit you.
Watch, listen, study, contemplate, then step lightly but decisively on.

Six in the fifth place means:

The traveler kills a pheasant with his first shot.
For the price of one arrow, he has bought himself praise and high office.

He shoots a pheasant.
It drops with the first arrow.
In the end this brings both praise and office.

Traveling statesmen were in the habit of introducing themselves to local princes with the gift of a pheasant. Here the wanderer wants to enter the service of a prince. To this end he shoots a pheasant, killing it at the first shot. Thus he finds friends who praise and recommend him, and in the end the prince accepts him and confers an office upon him.
Circumstances often cause a man to seek a home in foreign parts. If he knows how to meet the situation and how to introduce himself in the right way, he may find a circle of friends and a sphere of activity even in a strange country.

Male pheasant – Picardie France 2012 – photo Lex van den Bos

39 – Thirty-Nine  Chien / Obstacle

Ominous roiling in the Crater Lake atop the Volcano:
When meeting an impasse, the Superior Person turns his gaze within, and views the obstacle from a new perspective.

Offer your opponent nothing to resist.
Let a sage guide you in this.
Good fortune lies along this course.

SITUATION ANALYSIS:

The Obstacle lies in obstinance.
An insistence on only one way of proceeding has brought things to an impasse.
You may either continue banging your head with irresistible force against this immovable object, or you might step back and survey this situation from a fresh perspective.
Which is immobile here — the obstruction or your attitude?

4 – Four  Mêng / Inexperience

A fresh Spring at the foot of the Mountain:
The Superior Person refines his character by being thorough in every activity.
The Sage does not recruit students; the students seek him.
He asks nothing but a sincere desire to learn.
If the student doubts or challenges his authority, the Sage regretfully cuts his losses.

SITUATION ANALYSIS:

This is a time of interchange between a mentor and pupil.
Whether you are the teacher or the student, it is a time of companionship along a mutual path.
This hexagram also emphasizes the eternal, cyclical nature of the mentor/student relationship — a mentor is merely a more seasoned pupil, further along on the journey.
A pupil holds within himself the seed of a future Master.

40 – Forty  Hsieh / Liberation

A Thunderous Cloudburst shatters the oppressive humidity:
The Superior Person knows the release in forgiveness, pardoning the faults of others and dealing gently with those who sin against him.

It pays to accept things as they are for now.
If there is nothing else to be gained, a return brings good fortune.
If there is something yet to be gained, act on it at once.

SITUATION ANALYSIS:

The relief you experience here is not your own personal pardon, but the release of others from your rigid expectations.
Like a hot air balloon, you will rise to new heights as you cast the heavy sandbags of resentments and restrictions away from you.
Feel the lightness of being that results from forgiving others and accepting them as they are.
Free yourself of the endless vigil of policing the behavior of others.
See them for who they are, not what they can or can’t do for you.

32 – Thirty-Two  Hêng / Durability

Arousing Thunder and penetrating Wind.
Close companions in any storm:
The Superior Person possesses a resiliency and durability that lets him remain firmly and faithfully on course.

Such constancy deserves success.

SITUATION ANALYSIS:

Endurance is the key to success in this situation.
However, durability is not synonymous with stone-like rigidity.
True resilience requires a flexibility that allows adaptation to any adverse condition, while still remaining true to the core.
Can you maintain your integrity under any circumstance?
Can you influence the situation without giving opposing forces anything to resist?
Then you will endure to reach your goal.

34 – Thirty-Four  Ta Chuang / Awesome Power

Thunder fills the Heavens with its awful roar, not out of pride, but with integrity; if it did less, it would not be Thunder:
Because of his Great Power, the Superior Person takes pains not to overstep his position, so that he will not seem intimidating or threatening to the Established Order.

Opportunity will arise along this course.

SITUATION ANALYSIS:

The Awesome Power available in this hexagram stems from what the Taoists call your Te, a term not perfectly translated into English.
Roughly, it is your Integrity — not in the Western sense of honor — but more in the psychological definition of a full integration of Who You Are.
This Awesome Power is achieved only by fully embracing both the good and the bad, the strong and the weak, the masculine and the feminine — all polarities within you.
Such self-knowledge spawns a Mastery tempered with the humility necessary to rein in and harness this Awesome Power.

42 – Forty-Two  I / Expansion

Whirlwinds and Thunder:
When the Superior Person encounters saintly behavior, he adopts it; when he encounters a fault within, he transforms it.

Progress in every endeavor.
You may cross to the far shore.

SITUATION ANALYSIS:

Get ready to ride a tide of accelerated growth toward self-actualization.
A joyful awareness of the best within you, coupled with an acceptance of your Shadow, will provide a greater repertoire, a much bolder vision, and new depth and clarity that will compel you to expand your horizons.

37 – Thirty-Seven  Chia Jên / Family Duties

Warming Air Currents rise and spread from the Hearthfire:
The Superior Person weighs his words carefully and is consistent in his behavior.

Be as faithful as a good wife.

SITUATION ANALYSIS:

One in this situation must be keenly aware of his influence on others.
Maintain a healthy respect for the ripple effect of your words and deeds.
To some you serve as a role model.
You can either help shape their world or tilt them into chaos.
Show temperance and consideration to all.

1 – One  Ch’ien / Creative Activity

Heaven above and Heaven below:
Heaven in constant motion.
With the strength of the dragon, the Superior Person steels himself for ceaseless activity.

Productive Activity.
Potent Influence.
Sublime Success if you keep to your course.

SITUATION ANALYSIS:

The time for action has come.
You now have the focus and the stamina necessary for accomplishing great tasks.
The path before you is being cleared and reward lies ahead.

Nine in the third place means:

The Superior Person builds by day and remains vigilant through the night.
Danger, but he will persevere.

All day long the superior man is creatively active.
At nightfall his mind is still beset with cares.
Danger. No blame.

‘Nightfall Montmartre’ – Daniel Wall

A sphere of influence opens up for the great man. His fame begins to spread. The masses flock to him. His inner power is adequate to the increased outer activity.¹ There are all sorts of things to be done, and when others are at rest in the evening, plans and anxieties press in upon him. But danger lurks here at the place of transition from lowliness to the heights. Many a great man has been ruined because the masses flocked to him and swept him into their course. Ambition has destroyed his integrity. However, true greatness is not impaired by temptations. He who remains in touch with the time that is dawning, and with its demands, is prudent enough to avoid all pitfalls, and remains blameless.

10 – Ten  Lü / Worrying the Tiger

Heaven shines down on the Marsh which reflects it back imperfectly:
Though the Superior Man carefully discriminates between high and low, and acts in accord with the flow of the Tao, there are still situations where a risk must be taken.

You tread upon the tail of the tiger.
Not perceiving you as a threat, the startled tiger does not bite.
Success.

SITUATION ANALYSIS:

You have reached a perilous point in your journey.
This is a real gamble — not a maneuver, not a calculated risk.
The outcome is uncertain.
If it goes as you hope, you will gain — but if it turns against you it will cause serious injury, at least to your plans.
The best tack is extreme caution and a healthy respect for the danger involved.

49 – Forty-Nine  Ko / Revolution

Fire ignites within the Lake, defying conditions that would deny it birth or survival:
The Superior Person reads the Signs of the Times and makes the Season apparent to all.

The support you need will come only after the deed is done.
Renewed forces, however, will provide fresh energy for exceptional progress.
Persevere.
All differences vanish.

SITUATION ANALYSIS:

A revolutionary Change must be made forcibly.
There is no negotiating with the Established Order.
Perfect timing is essential.
Let the abuse of power become apparent and oppressive to those around you before making your move.
Lay the groundwork, sow the seeds for Revolution without tipping your hand prematurely.
You will need a strong foundation, because you will have to bring about this necessary change alone.
You cannot count on popular support, so you must wait until there is massive dissent.
Then the avenue for your assault will be cleared.

Six in the second place means:

When the time is ripe, you will be the instrument of change.
Plant the seeds of revolution now, and success is assured.

When one’s own day comes, one may create revolution.
Starting brings good fortune. No blame.

‘Liberty Leading the People’, 1830 – Eugène Delacroix – Musée du Louvre, Paris

When we have tried in every way to bring about reforms, but without success, revolution becomes necessary. But such a thoroughgoing upheaval must be carefully prepared. There must be available a man who has the requisite abilities and who possesses public confidence. To such a man we may well turn. This brings good fortune and is not a mistake. The first thing to be considered is our inner attitude toward the new condition that will inevitably come. We have to go out to meet it, as it were. Only in this way can it be prepared for.

58 – Fifty-Eight  Tui / Empowering

The joyous Lake spans on and on to the horizon:
The Superior Person renews and expands his Spirit through heart-to-heart exchanges with others.

Success if you stay on course.

SITUATION ANALYSIS:

This is the sign of true companionship.
The principals in this situation exchange energy, ideas and feelings, constantly invigorating and encouraging each other to new heights of Spiritual achievement and Self-discovery.
This exchange is not for the glory of the Team, but for furthering the process of each individual’s ‘Te’, or pure potentiality.

12 – Twelve  P’i / Stagnation

Heaven and Earth move away from each other.
In the ensuing void, the small invade where the great have departed.
There is no common meeting ground, so the Superior Person must fall back on his inner worth and decline the rewards offered by the inferior invaders.

Difficult trials as you hold to your course.

SITUATION ANALYSIS:

It is natural to assume that, if Earth above Heaven forms the hexagram for Peace and Paradise, then the opposite configuration, with Heaven over Earth would represent the antithesis of Paradise, Hell.
Not so.
This hexagram is actually the Dark side of Peace, its unsavory byproduct, Stagnation.
In a time when most of our wants are provided, there is little need for the heroes, the artists, the great thinkers and innovators.
As they recede into the shadows, Idleness, Apathy, and Lassitude come to the forefront.
Peace has become boring, bland, unchallenging — Stagnant.
Now our attention turns to the quick fix, the instant celebrity, the fad, the one-nighter, the current buzz.
There is no room for depth.
If you are a passionate soul, you must wait for a better time to find kindred spirits.
In these times, they are only curious legends, bas-relief, dead poets.

Six in the third place means:

A vague inward feeling of shame remains unrecognized but still succeeds in haunting.

They bear shame.

Marie Antoinette and Louis XVI in the Garden of the Tuilerie

Inferior people who have risen to power illegitimately do not feel equal to the responsibility they have taken upon themselves. In their hearts they begin to be ashamed, although at first they do not show it outwardly. This marks a turn for the better.

56 – Fifty-Six  Lu / The Wanderer

Fire on the Mountain, catastrophic to man, a passing annoyance to the Mountain:
The Superior Person waits for wisdom and clarity before exacting Justice, then lets no protest sway him.

Find satisfaction in small gains.
To move constantly forward is good fortune to a Wanderer.

SITUATION ANALYSIS:

You are a stranger to this situation.
It is your attraction to the exotic that has led you here, but you will move on to a new vista when this one has lost its mystique.
Because much of this environment is foreign to you, you must exercise only the best judgement.
You don’t know the custom here, and it’s too easy to cross a line you don’t know is there.
Because you are the foreigner in this setting, you have no history to acquit you.
Watch, listen, study, contemplate, then step lightly but decisively on.

53 – Fifty-Three  Chien / Gradual Progress

The gnarled Pine grows tenaciously off the Cliff face:
The Superior Person clings faithfully to dignity and integrity, thus elevating the Collective Spirit of Man in his own small way.
Development.
The maiden is given in marriage.
Good fortune if you stay on course.

SITUATION ANALYSIS:

Adaptability mixed with integrity will bring a calm, steady progress.
Move from your center, always faithful to your principles, yet with the flexibility to weather any tempest.
Yours is not a meteoric rise to the top, but the solid, confident footing of one who has a clear vision of what can be, and who is willing to climb the distance to reach it.
The oracle foresees companionship along the way — a Divine comfort on any journey.

Nine in the third place means:

The wild geese nest in the open prairie.
The male leaves to forage; he will not return.
The brooding female will not hatch her young.
Predators close in.

The wild goose gradually draws near the plateau.
The man goes forth and does not return.
The woman carries a child but does not bring it forth.
Misfortune.
It furthers one to fight off robbers.

The high plateau is dry and unsuitable for the wild goose. If it goes there, it has lost its way and gone too far. This is contrary to the law of development.
It is the same in human life. If we do not let things develop quietly but plunge of our own choice too rashly into a struggle, misfortune results. A man jeopardises his own life, and his family perishes thereby. However, this is not at all necessary; it is only the result of transgressing the law of natural development. If one does not willfully provoke a conflict, but confines himself to vigorously maintaining his own position and to warding off unjustified attacks, all goes well.

20 – Twenty  Kuan / Contemplation

The gentle Wind roams the Earth:
The Superior Person expands his sphere of influence as he expands his awareness.
Deeply devoted to his pursuit of clarity and wisdom, he is unconscious of the inspiring, positive example he is setting for others to emulate.

You have cleansed yourself; now stand ready to make your humble, devout offering.

SITUATION ANALYSIS:

The situation marks a rising to new heights.
As you climb for a better view of the panorama, you make yourself more conspicuous to those below.
This hexagram is also known as the Watchtower, because the shape formed by its lines resembles the ancient guardposts manned by Chinese soldiers.
These towers were placed on mountainsides to give a better vantage point.
To those below, the watchtowers served as landmarks to help them find their way.
The quality of your search for clarity in this situation serves as such a guidepost for others along the Way.

15 – Fifteen  Ch’ien / Modesty

The Mountain does not overshadow the Plain surrounding it:
Such modest consideration in a Superior Person creates a channel through which excess flows to the needy.

Success if you carry things through.

SITUATION ANALYSIS:

The Cosmos is moving toward equilibrium.
Extremes are being tempered, excess is beginning to shift toward the empty.
You can use these moderating influences to strike a balance in the world around you.
Remember, though, that this Leveling will not come about through an arrogant confiscation of excess, but through subtler persuasions.
Modesty and moderation are the keys.

32 – Thirty-Two  Hêng / Durability

Arousing Thunder and penetrating Wind.
Close companions in any storm:
The Superior Person possesses a resiliency and durability that lets him remain firmly and faithfully on course.

Such constancy deserves success.

SITUATION ANALYSIS:

Endurance is the key to success in this situation.
However, durability is not synonymous with stone-like rigidity.
True resilience requires a flexibility that allows adaptation to any adverse condition, while still remaining true to the core.
Can you maintain your integrity under any circumstance?
Can you influence the situation without giving opposing forces anything to resist?
Then you will endure to reach your goal.

41 – Forty-one  Sun / Decrease

The stoic Mountain drains its excess waters to the Lake below:
The Superior Person curbs his anger and sheds his desires.

To be frugal and content is to possess immeasurable wealth within.
Nothing of value could be refused such a person.
Make a portion of each meal a share of your offering.

SITUATION ANALYSIS:

This is an occasion for downsizing to fighting trim.
Simplicity and economy are strong defenses against the slings and arrows of Outrageous Fortune.
Whether this is a time of want or a time of plenty, it is an auspicious time to shed a dependency.

Six in the fourth place means:

Once he recognizes and admits his wound, walls tumble down and others can get through to offer the balm he needs for healing.

If a man decreases his faults,
It makes the other hasten to come and rejoice.
No blame.

‘Rejoice’ – Daphne Stammer

A man’s faults often prevent even well-disposed people from coming closer to him. His faults are sometimes reinforced by the environment in which he lives. But if in humility he can bring himself to the point of giving them up, he frees his well-disposed friends from an inner pressure and causes them to approach the more quickly, and there is mutual joy.

38 – Thirty-Eight  K’uei / Estrangement

Fire distances itself from its nemesis, the Lake:
No matter how large or diverse the group, the Superior Person remains uniquely himself.

Small accomplishments are possible.

SITUATION ANALYSIS:

You are working at cross-purposes with another.
The distance between you is very wide.
The gap can be closed, however, with no compromise of your integrity.
You are not adversaries in this case — just two persons addressing individual needs.
Ask yourself: are these needs mutually exclusive?
Is there common ground here?
Must there be one winner and one loser?
Could you become partners in seeking a solution that would allow for two winners?